Monday, February 8, 2010

its only a quarter or two dimes and a nickel

I recently had a birthday. And i heard the same things every time someone heard that i was twenty five.
"oh that's a quarter of a century"
"do you feel old"
"how does it feel to be a quarter of a century?"

it feels pretty damn awesome.

I know i talk about the fact my cancer is stage four a lot in my blogs. Probably because I don't talk about it at all in real life. It's depressing and morbid and any person in their right mind would try to forget about that tiny detail. So it gets glossed over and pushed to the back of minds but on days like January 25th when I am celebrating another year of life I am grateful. I am grateful for every day (even the sucky ones). And I will take everyday that's given to me. And I will try to live them the way I think God would want me to.
This excludes days like last week when I did a lot of staying in bed because I had a terrible cold and sinus infection. And days where I am in a bad mood with a even badder attitude.
But most of them I try to live to the fullest. Honestly.
Hey you read the last post...I've got some accomplishments to accomplish.

Moving on to the latest cancer news
just a warning it's not the best of news

so over the past few months my tumor marker has been behaving badly.
it keeps creeping up and the last time it doubled. So the morning of my birthday Dr. K called (obscenely early) and to tell me that the tumor marker had doubled and that he was thinking about changing my medicine but wanted to do one last blood test to see if this high tumor marker was just a fluke. Did the blood test friday morning and actually just got the voicemail about an hour ago that the marker was still high and that he wanted to call the specialist at UNC to see what she had to say before changing me from tamoxifen to something else.

So here's hoping that these docs make good decisions.
and that I can catch up on all the schoolwork I missed this past week....