so yesterday was the first really terrible day i've had since this whole debacle began.
i wasn't allowed to eat starting at 945 or have anything to drink...and i'm sure you all know me rather well and are aware of my extreme love of all things edible...so needless to say i arrived at my appointment with a growling stomach and a cranky attitude. The nurse calls my name, i go through the big double doors and sit in the chair by this contraption that looks like it could be a portal to some black hole in space. I am THEN informed i have to drink more of the hellacious concoction (this time vanilla flavored...just as terrible!) then i lay on the table thingy that will transport me in and out of space and am terrified to find that they have to inject me with something.
when i had staph infections i had to endure a lot of needles
when i stepped on a wine glass and needed stitches there was a needle
when i went to the dentist once there was a needle
Friday i had labs drawn more needles
Monday they had to inject a tracer which meant a needle
Yesterday they had to shoot me up with some dye which meant a needle.
I HATE NEEDLES. can we say tears and panic attacks?!
so monday the nurses had a hard time finding a vein which led to nurse satan digging around in both arms before calling in nurse angel who was talented in the way of the vein (regardless i shed tears) so when i went yesterday i mentioned (as always) that i hate needles and if i begin to cry to just stick the damn thing in and ignore me. (this was hard to do yesterday) (sobbing is not nearly as lowkey) i also mentioned that the vein in my right hand looks like my best one...
so nurse satan sticks the needle in and is like on a scavenger hunt trying to poke my vein...well she gets it in and it blows out on her (which hurts) so she calls in nurse lucifer who takes a hold of my left arm and soon i'm in a torture chamber while they search for a decent vein to stab into. Meanwhile i'm in near hysterics (my bad...can't help it) so when its all over mom and i exit the building...and here is what happens....
i turn to my mother "i am about to say a bad word"
me "this fucking sucks"
mother "i know"
this is all said while i'm crying big crocodile tears and railing off on how i hate having cancer. seriously. i hate it.
THEN to add to the trauma we go to the wig place. we find one. we buy it. i told mom to put it somewhere i dont have to look at it. bc this is the one thing i am super MAD about.
i like my hair.
we're cutting it to my shoulders today.
devastation in smaller doses i guess.
today is my pet scan. i'm assuming it comes with a nurse satan who is going to jab me in my arm.
PS i apologize to anyone that called my cell phone yesterday. that sucker was on silent while i sat on the couch watching Greek (new favorite show) and trying to return to the cheerful upbeat disposition i had prior to yesterday. Just needed a day to myself.
be warned...it may happen again.
but i still love you guys a LOT! seriously i do! BUNCHES!
and keep the mail coming...i LOVE getting mail!